Monday, February 19, 2018

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Photo Caption: David Locke

Sometimes God has you in a tough place. You are reading your Bible and praying. You have talked to Christian friends. Still you have no solution. The situation hasn't gotten better. The people haven't come around. So now what?

I wish I had a good answer, a quick answer, but I don't. There isn't an easy way to fix some things, especially things involving people. Humans are flawed and broken creatures in a flawed and broken world. We all know that intellectually, but in the middle of this hard place, your heart doesn't care about this head knowledge.

I'm just here to tell you that you aren't alone. There are people who have been through hard things. They will listen. They will give hugs. They will pray with you. Keep praying. Keep reading. God is working and you are not in this hard place for no reason. You will come out of this stronger. And mostly you will come out of this.

Monday, February 5, 2018

Jesus, please hold them in your arms.

I have thought several times about what I want to write about today. There are a few posts I could put up here that would sound okay, but they wouldn't be from the heart. What has been weighing heavy on my heart this past week is some tragic news from my hometown.

A young girl ran away around the 4th of July about three and half years ago. Just after Christmas some remains were found and last week those remains were positively identified as that girl. I did not know this girl or her family, but I have followed the story and desperately wished for her to come home safe. My heart has broken many times for her mother, her family, and her friends. And now for it to 'end' this way is just so much more tragic. Then to think it hasn't really ended because they are still investigating what really happened.

I listen to a lot of true crime podcasts. I read cozy mysteries. I watch police procedural dramas. But now here is a situation near me and it is all so much more awful and heartbreaking. I know there are so many people with such strong feelings about this and they are completely entitled to those. But those feelings of outrage and heartbreak weigh heavily on me as well. I hope and pray the family isn't seeing that. I don't know if that is the right thing to feel, but I don't want them hurt any more. So I hope they don't have to have these feelings laid on them as well.

Ultimately, my heart is breaking for everyone involved and I don't see it getting better any time soon. The only thing I know to do is pray.

Jesus, please hold them in your arms.

Friday, February 2, 2018

Things Saving My Life Right Now

Every year about this time, Modern Mrs. Darcy, makes a list of things that are saving her life right now. I try to take time to think of that list for me as well. It is easy to focus on the things that are draining you, but the easy thing isn't always right.

So in the cold of February with no break in sight, these are things that are saving my life right.

1. Working with great people. I am so blessed to work with this group of people. We had a SUPER long day last night. It happens about the same time every year. So the administration gets us some kind of food since we will be there through dinner. Last night we had steak and baked potatoes. There are a few guys that did the cooking and the administration did the buying. It was so good to have a nice dinner together in the middle of a very long day.  Then when there were still a few parents around and I was going to help close up, they told me to go home because I have little ones. It was so good for a working mother's heart to have someone recognize that. 

2. Lily smiles and hugs. 3 year olds are hard to deal with. Having a red headed 3 year old girl seems so much harder. She is quick to cry and with the cry comes the screaming. If she doesn't get her way, she likes to kick and throw things. But she is also quick with a hug. And she throws her whole self into that hug. When I come home, she runs down the hall and yells, "Mommy." Then she throws herself at me in one of those big hugs. She tells me about the best thing that happened to her that day and runs off to keep playing. Those moments are wonderful.

3. A new water bottle. I recently got a new water bottle and I love it! I am drinking more water and feeling better. And since I'm walking more, more water is needed.

4. Books. I haven't had the time I would like to have to read. However when I do sit down to read, I escape into 1900s New York or Themyscira. Those escapes even for just 10 minutes means a lot.

I could probably think of more things, but these things are good. They are really good.