|Photo Credit: Ian Sane|
So I'm doing really good at updating my other blog about reading even if I am a day or so off, I get something up there. However, on this one, I'm coming up empty. I have had a thought or two about what to post, but then by the time I sit down, the idea has completely flown away. I also have been struggling with writing in my journal as well. Again I think about doing it when I'm not at home or near my journal. Then I get to home and have the time and the thought has flown away. I don't think it is a coincidence that I am struggling on here and with my journal writing. I think both of those things tell me that I am not paying attention. I'm going through life, but I'm not really sitting to capture my thoughts.
Life has been a bit busier with birthdays, conferences, and my daughter getting up early. I have also checked out too many books from the library recently, so I'm feel like I'm constantly reading against the deadline. Most of these things are not much of a reason to be ignoring my reflecting space. The only one might be my daughter getting up early. She has started getting up about 5 minutes before my alarm. So there is no time to get her back to sleep, so she is just up with me while I"m getting ready. I don't have a sit down focused reflection time in the morning, but I do use some of the quiet time for thinking. Even then, that doesn't offer much of an excuse. I have several other hours in the day, but I just don't make time for reflecting.
I guess I feel like I have too much to do. I can't take time to stop because then I won't get those other two or three things done. I need to prioritize. I know me. I know if I start sacrificing here, then I'm going to start stressing more and putting more and more on my to do list. I'm going to start feeling like I need to accomplish everything instead of putting some things off or just saying no to some things. Abide is my one word for the year and it picked me because I need to be okay with the stopping. I find that I am running the risk of not leaving space for myself. That is not a good place for me to be.
So even though, I didn't have lots of good thoughts, I sat down to write anyway. I made myself reflect, so I can start capturing more reflections. I made myself leave some space.