Saturday, January 14, 2017

Why I Need To Abide

Photo Credit: Joe Shlabotnik

This past week I have felt myself get upset about various issues at school. It all basically amounts to the end of the semester stress and making poor decisions. The students were making poor decisions based on their stress and I was making poor decisions by being drawn into it. My kids have also been really emotional the last couple weeks as well. So emotions are running high all around me! And I keep getting sucked into it.

However, God has been speaking to me about it this week in multiple ways. I've even been listening a little as well. Wednesday there were SO many emotions running around and through me. I knew I didn't like it, but I couldn't figure out how to get out of it. It spilled over into Thursday as well. Then a real actual issue came up that sobered me. I have also been writing in my journal fairly regularly. I caught myself being dragged back into the emotions on Wednesday night when I was writing. So I stopped and focused on something good. I did that again on Thursday.

Another help has been The Book of Common Prayer. I am not Episcopalian or Anglican. However, I have been looking for a book full of prayers and such that are in an older writing style that really makes me think hard. I got the book for Christmas. There are many things in there that aren't what I'm looking for. So I'm skipping past those pages. I'm focusing on the pages that are what I want. So far, I've been looking at Venite (Psalms 95:1-7; 96:9,13). Several of the phrases there have been sticking with me. They keep reminding me how big God is. He is in control of everything and that is a good thing. I can be happy because he is in control. More than I can be happy, I should be happy. "Heartily rejoice in the strength of my salvation."

Then today I was catching up on podcasts and listened to a message from Chip Ingram from Friday just reinforced the whole thing. "If I'm wise I won't compromise my integrity." "You don't allow your behavior, relationships, finances, or speech to tell a different story than what you know is right." "Be at peace in one's relationships with others." "Issues are resolved and forgiven with others and with God." That was in the first 3 minutes of the podcast. Some hard hitting stuff there. My behavior and my words this week are telling a different story than what I know is right. I have not been living in peace. I have been all over the place emotionally and that is not peace.

There are things I need to work on. I have started the work, but I need to continue. I need to change my thought process and the words coming out of my mouth. I need to find peace within myself, so I can help others find that peace as well. Writing in my journal, prayer, and Bible reading are my plan. I think that's God's plan as well. Prayer and Bible reading is always God's plan. Feel free to check up on me and call me out when you hear me complaining or you see me in the broken record of emotional chaos.

More Jesus, less me. More abide, less chaos.

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