Saturday, April 2, 2016

Family or Career: What is having it all?

Photo Credit: Quinn Dombrowski

The world tells us that we can have it all, family and career. What it really means is that we can have a career and be successful, powerful, rich, and have some family on the side. That isn't having it all because when you keep trying to do both one of them will end up leaving. So we need to decide which one we want.

We see so many examples on TV, both fictional and non fictional, of people choosing career and losing family. But the media, doesn't focus on that. They don't tell the story that way. They focus on other things, so we don't see the truth. How many times have you heard of a cop, chef, business person, musician lose their family because they are working too many hours? Again in fictional or non-fictional stories. How many times have you heard the story of dad being hard on me because he was a military man or he was a pastor or he was a professor? They aren't defining that man by family terms. They are defining the man by the career.

Maybe it is just an easy story to tell. Maybe fiction writers in books or on TV or in the movies just go to those stories for convenience.

Or maybe they tell those stories because they are the most believable. Those stories are most like us. We don't tell ourselves the truth. We tell ourselves that we are doing okay. We can have a career and family. We tell ourselves that even though others failed, we won't fail. We can do what others can't do.

Let me be one to say, that's a huge lie! You can't have it all, so stop trying.

Actually, redefine what you mean by having it all. Going after a career isn't a bad thing. Dragging other people along, so you can pretend like you have a family while you are going after a career, I think that is a bad thing. Be honest. Do you want to be on top of your career field? Great! Go for it! Do you want a happy healthy beautiful family? Great! Go for it! But don't expect to be on the top of field. Do a job well (because doing a crappy job on purpose isn't cool.) and then go home and do family great!

Redefine what having it all means. Don't listen to what society tells you. They lie a lot. Listen to what God is speaking to your heart. He doesn't lie. Actually he can't lie. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

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