Monday, March 14, 2016

I Don't Fit In

Throughout large parts of my life, I have been very aware that I don't quite fit in. I am an opinionated introverted Christian sports fan and book lover. That may be a bit simplistic, but it seems like a good summary. Most of the time I am okay with it. I don't want to change myself simply to fit in. I never have wanted to do that. So I don't fit in most places. Normally I am very okay with that. However, there are times when I desperately want people to accept into their group as I am. I don't want to change to fit in, but I do want to fit in. I get frustrated and even angry that I'm not accepted or that some part of me isn't okay.

As a Christian, I know that I am "not of this world." (John 15:19) I can't say there aren't times that I have wanted acceptance in a secular group, classmates, co-workers, etc. It is something that crops up every now and then. That one is an easy one to conquer though. I read the Bible and listen to Jesus' words. I know it isn't me that they are rejecting, but the Holy Spirit living inside of me. I really get that and I'm really okay with that. I just need to remind myself every once in a while that I'm okay with that. In fact in my sermon notes from yesterday, I wrote (twice) "Don't let their rhetoric become yours." Just an emphatic reminder of whose I am.

But then it happens at churches too. Those are the ones that are hard to accept. I know I won't fit into the world, but shouldn't I fit into the church? Shouldn't there be people like me there? Maybe, but maybe not. Churches are still made up of people and people won't be perfected until they are in heaven. So in an imperfect world full of imperfect people, it only makes sense that there are lots of places that I don't fit in. That doesn't make it less frustrating. I know that I'm not going to find people exactly like me, but it would be nice to find someone or even a group that is a little like me. I guess I'll wait for God to bring the right person along and until then I'll just keep praying about it.

And thanks to Lecrae for the courage to keep being me.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Book Review: Roots & Sky: A Journey Home in Four Seasons by Christie Purifoy

Roots and Sky: A Journey Home in Four SeasonsRoots and Sky: A Journey Home in Four Seasons by Christie Purifoy
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

First thing, I got this from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.

So my honest review, this spoke to my heart in a way that I didn't know I needed. The summary didn't seem to fit me. I didn't move into an old farmhouse and didn't have an interest in moving to an old farmhouse. So why would this be for me?

Because it is about so much more than a house!

It is about being a young mother. It is about moving outside of your comfort zone. It is about making connections with your neighbors. It is about making your house a home. It is about accepting where you are and God's plan for you.

"Whoever told me that perfect is only perfect if it lasts?" (Purifoy, 135)

This is just one quote. I had so, so many things underlined. And I feel like there is someone else out there who is going through the same emotions and stressors as me. I am not alone. I genuinely feel so much stronger and ready to face the world and my problems because of this book. I feel ready to face the day and enjoy it. This book spoke to me way deep down in my soul.

If you are stressed out with life and being an adult, this book can help. If you are wondering what in the world God is doing in your life, this book can help. If you just need to know you are not alone, this book can help. So go get it and feel better.

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I just can't emphasize just how special this book is. Maybe everyone comes to this existential crisis when they get to about 35, so maybe my experience isn't unique. But to me, I've never been in a place that I am so sure of myself and so doubtful at the same time. I know there are so many good things I am doing with my life. And I know that all of the stressful stuff that has been going on has a purpose and it will all be okay. Then the other part of me is doubting that I'm putting my energy in the right things. I'm doubting that I'm really headed in the right direction at the right speed. Then this book comes along telling me that I'm not alone and I have time and I'm okay.

Oh this book is so amazing!