Friday, May 8, 2015

More Ramblings on Identity: My Daughter and I

Let me start this by saying I am such a judgmental person. Most of the time the words stay in my head, but they still come. So yes I am a judgmental person. The other day I was dropping my son off and my judgmental opinions reared their ugly head. There was a perfectly coiffed and fabulously put together mother dropping off her daughter. I was rather sloppily thrown together and needing to wash my hair. (It's been a long week.) Her daughter had a sleek bob. It was blonde, but seemed to have some brunette underneath. I wondered if that was natural or it was dyed. Then I wondered if that mother would dye her daughter's hair. And that led to several other thoughts.

Eventually these thoughts led me wondering about the identity I'm helping to create for my daughter. I'm not a girly girl. I do make up every now and then. Actually since writing this, I'm doing make up more than I used to. I do a little something with my hair, but spend very little time on it. I don't think I'm going to change much. I just find other things more important to spend my time on and thankfully my husband agrees with me. I'm relatively pleased with myself as a woman. I will admit that too often I feel like I have to choose between sleep, reading, or prettying myself up time. I think most women of young children would agree.

And that brings me back to my daughter. The type of woman she sees me being will influence the type of woman she becomes. I don't spend much time on myself and my 'look'. So I figure it is safe to assume I won't spend much time on hers either. Is that what I should do for her? Is that being a good mother? Or should I spend more time on her 'look'?

I'm not sure if this makes any sense, but suffice it to say that being the mother of a girl isn't easy. It has me wondering about many things about myself, women, and my daughter.



  1. As one who also doesn't spend a lot of time on herself or wear a lot of makeup, I say be confident in your choices! And for now, don't worry about 'dolling' her up except for when the need may arise unless that's what you want to do. As she gets older, just be prepared that she may be like you in her beauty/clothing choices or she may be full on beauty queen. Whatever she chooses, just don't squash her!

    1. Those are very wise words my sweet friend. Thank you. :-)