Friday, May 16, 2014

30/30: My Biggest Regret

The 30/30 prompt today is: One Big Regret.

I have long said that I don't have any regrets because all of my choices have gotten me where I am today. I wouldn't want to go back and change things because then something else would change and who knows where I would be.

So I hesitate to call it a regret. It's more of a what if.

My big what if is: What if my husband and I had listened to God's plan when we first got married. Shortly before we got married, his aunt passed away and shortly after we got married her husband passed as well. Drew's dad was the executor of the estate. As such he offered us the house and all we had to do was to take over payments. So we would basically have gotten a house for free!

We said no.

We had these big plans. I was going to finish my master's and then we would move to Florida or up north or somewhere else and live this grand life. We didn't want to move back to here. We didn't even have to ask if that was a part of God's plan. We knew it couldn't be.

Then 4 years, thousands of dollars in debt, and 2 moves across the country later, we were living here. And the 4 years it took to get back here were not particularly easy. We lost people, jobs, and confidence. They were painful. So what if we had listened the first time?

Would they have been that painful? Would we have gotten so far in debt?

Then the other part of me says: What if we hadn't met those people along the way? What if we hadn't ended up at the churches we were a part of along the way? What if we weren't in the house we are in now and in the neighborhood we are in now?

So even though I have a big what if, the what if we weren't here now is a bigger one. So I don't really regret it and I don't really want to go back and change anything.

In case you are curious, you can check out Carl's regret here

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