Photo Credit: Donna Sullivan Thompson
Last week I wrote about weights that have been on me and working to lift them off. Here I am on another Friday and they are still hanging around. I wanted to avoid using the specific lies that are weighing on me because I didn't want to seem like I was calling people out. However, I'm still here carrying the weights. So I'm going to be really bluntly honest.
Lie #1: You shouldn't be happy and proud that you were a virgin before you were married.
Lie #2: If you aren't eating healthier, losing weight, and working out this particular way, then you are contributing to the downfall of America.
Let me start by saying that I don't think this was the message people intended to share. However, this is the message that I gathered between the written words. So I'm not saying that the people writing about these topics said these things or believe them. Even so if I am gathering that message then others might be getting it as well. I would hate for other people to be fighting these lies alone.
Lie #1 - If you are not a virgin and are not married, God loves you, I love you, and your future spouse will too. I can only imagine the pain and doubt you are going through. Don't let God be one of those doubts. I realize that the church has messed up this message a lot and I'm sorry.
If you are a virgin, it is OKAY to be committed to that. It is OKAY to be happy about your decision. If you were a virgin until you got married, it is OKAY to be happy about that and proud of that. You are avoiding or have avoided some heartache and pain. That is NOT a bad thing!
For me the church didn't mess up this message. I made a decision and I stuck by it. It didn't cause me lasting damage. So I can be happy that both my husband and I were virgins before we got married. I can be happy that we didn't have that pain to wade through. (We have plenty of other pain and old scars to work on.) I can be happy about it. I don't have to be ashamed about it!
Lie #2 - If you are eating healthier, losing weight, and working out, that is awesome. Taking care of yourself and getting into that routine is a life long habit that will help you live longer and happier. I know the church doesn't talk about this often enough and that society wars about this stuff. So if you have found something to work for you, that is great.
If you are trying to eat healthier, lose weight, and work out, but are struggling with it. That is OKAY. You don't have to be perfect overnight. When there is a special event and you eat cake or pie, while enjoying the people with you. That is okay. When you are too tired to work out because you are sick or worn out from other commitments in life, it is okay to sleep in or relax.
For me, I'm a wife, a mother, a teacher, a youth leader, and a teacher leader. I have a lot of other things on my plate and then I add family illness and a cold on top of that. I am exhausted! I have slept in several days in the last couple weeks. I haven't worked out like I normally do. I have tried to fit in more stairs at school and playing with Ben more. I have tried to stand up and fold clothes instead of sitting down. The scale hasn't moved much and I'm frustrated. Maybe I'm gaining muscle and maybe the pie at my mother in laws or the Superbowl dips are catching up with me. Either way, I'm going to continue making my little changes. I'm also not going to stop living my life and enjoying the people I"m with. I'm not going to worry about calories every second of every day. I'm not going to worry about the minutes I spent moving more. I won't let calorie counting or perfect eating or whatever decide how I live my life. AND that is OKAY!!
For more lies that women are working on overcoming, check out this Twitter site. And this series of YouTube videos and this series of blog posts.