Blogging is hard.
Now some of you are thinking, "Duh!" And others are thinking, "You're kidding right?"
Let me expand on that statement to let you know just exactly what I mean.
Earlier this week, I wrote about bloggers who have made a real difference in my life. That is amazing! They have words that they share and it makes a difference in the way I live my life. That is my goal in blogging. However sometimes I forget that is my goal.
I want more readers, more page views, and more comments. I look back at the posts that have been the most popular and they tend to be when I have said something controversial. I have strong opinions about a lot of things, but I don't normally share them on here because I don't think sharing them on here is going to encourage people to be different. I think it will just make them mad or alternatively make them say, "She's right." and move on. But those get me high page views, so maybe I could share an opinion or two to get people reading. Then people could follow me and I could
So you see the train of thought breaks down there. Why would I want to be a famous blogger? To what end? I don't plan on quitting my job to be a full time blogger. So why do I want to be famous? Honestly, to be acclaimed by people. I want people to be amazed at the awesome things I say and not just one or two, but like hundreds.
Where is God in those dreams? Where is God's plan for my blog and my words? If I'm seeking acclaim and numbers, where is the heart of a person?
So I need to focus not on numbers and acclaim, but on heart and truth. When I tell the truth that God has taught me, then I have the possibility of sharing that truth with someone else and their life might be changed. That is what I really want. That is what makes my heart soar and my spirit sing.
In the end, controversial opinions aren't real. They don't last and they don't change anything. If I'm not changing anything, why am I blogging? To be a resounding gong and that is rather useless. I want to be useful and share my struggles and my victories, so that others can see this Christian life isn't easy, but we can do it.
However, I am at an impasse. How do I share my real struggles with co-workers or family and not hurt the people involved. So much of what I want to share is my internal struggle before I am ready to talk to the person. So many of my thoughts are selfish and self-involved. I have to get over myself before I would confront someone about an issue I have. That getting over myself could be and helpful to others, but not at the expense of a relationship in my life. How do I share deep seated heart issues that involve other people, but avoid hurting them?
I don't know. I could create a private blog and just invite certain people, but then it would seem like I was talking about people and how would I know who would benefit from what I have to say when people couldn't discover it. So I don't think there is a way to do that. So I don't blog about that. I want to blog about it and share it with people to encourage them that some struggles aren't easy and don't have a nice easy conclusion. But those struggles aren't made easier by hurting others. So I don't share that. I search for real stories of personal success or failure that are just mine and can be used for encouragement or caution.
Thanks for being with me on this journey.
Do you have a blog? What do you struggle with?