Monday, October 15, 2012

My own bed

unmade bed  Photo Credit:  scarycurlgirl_photos

I wake to hear him coughing.  I look over and the clock says 3:46.  I listen again hoping it was a isolated cough, but knowing it wasn't.  I hear another cough and my husband begins to stir.  I tell him this on is my turn, so go back to sleep.  Not going to bed until 4 am yesterday was enough work.  By the third cough, I am pulling myself out of bed.  I stumble over my sneaker in the darkened room, but still make my way to the door.  I go down the hall and search with my hands in the dark for a sippy cup.  I can't find it, but I know he put it close by.  I resign myself to the light and turn it on.  It is right in front of me.  I pick it up, turn off the light, and put some water in it.

I go back to his room and give him the cup.  He takes it thankfully and drinks big.  This is the only medicine he's willing to take.  He lays down again, but can't get comfortable.  He reaches out his and and I hold it across the expanse of his bed.  He turns this way to my hand and then lets go to turn away from it.  I begin to wonder if I can get him to take more medicine.  It will help him sleep and he will stop coughing.  I'm not sure I'm prepared for this fight at 4 am.  So I put it off.  I listen to more coughing and resign myself to the fight.

I go back to the kitchen and fill up the dropper.  I come back in and he knows what I have.  He wants his daddy to give it to him, but daddy is asleep.  I try to imitate daddy's routine with no luck.  I end up forcing it down him while he spits out at least half.  This does not make me mother of the year, but at least he go something.  Now I wait for the medicine to start working.  He is still tossing and turning.  He is still reaching out for my hand and then letting it go.

I start to wonder when I am going to get back to my bed.  I know this is will only lengthen to process, so I pray for people.  Then I try to write characters in my head.  None of those last long and I am quickly back to wondering about my own bed.  I lay my head back in the age old rocking chair and try to close my eyes. I keep an ear out for him and somehow slip off into sleep.  I wake later and I see him settled down.  Sleeping in a crazy position that only children can manage.  I pull myself out of the rocking chair and head back to my own bed.  I look at the clock and it now says 5:23.  I must have slept awhile in the chair.  I climb into my own bed slightly disappointed that I have such a short time period left in my own bed.

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