I put these thoughts together several months ago, like 10, but I never found a time to publish it. So now seems like the time.
"He has taken all that have been laid at his feet from those who have suffered much more than us.
More than the pastors, the pallbearers, the family or the speakers, He is the One who is in the room having been both here AND there.
Help me to pray fervently after You. Give me the faith to move mountains. I'm tired of You having to work around me to have Your glory shine."
I think I go the words from somewhere on this blog: http://smo13.blogspot.com/
Wow! Do I want this? Really? Because I haven't done it. I didn't translate at the library today. That could have been someone to really help her with her son's needs. I didn't hug Axel when I knew I needed to. I hear God speak and I doubt it. I chalk it up my desires. I doubt that what I could do would make a difference. I find a way to excuse it away, but there isn't an excuse. God is asking me to work and I don't. I'm too shy. I don't want to impose. I don't want to be rude. I don't want to break the rules. The problem with that is I. It isn't about me. It's about him. He is enough and He knows what he's doing and the difference it could make.
Am I too worried about comparing myself to others? I see other bloggers with their beautiful family pictures and amazing posts and I think, "I wish we looked like that." Maybe it would be easier if they were just pretty on the outside. But these women are gorgeous inside and out. They have beautiful hearts and amazing words to share them with on top of being pretty. So I sit here thinking about that and comparing myself to them instead of talking to God and asking him to make me more like him.
"Running home to you."
"Never a moment w/o your presence. Never a doubt in my mind." Do I doubt his presence? Do I believe I will be running home to him? What do I really believe about him?