Friday, February 10, 2012

Still worrying about creativity

Before I start on today's post I want to let you all know that I was honored with a guest post over on YouthGuy07's blog, I'd laugh...but all this happened to me.  I'm talking about "My Best Day in Ministry".  Here's a preview:   "However there is one girl that sticks out in my mind, one prayer service that keeps running through my head when I think of my best day in the ministry.  During the prayer service, I do remember that the directive was to pray about lies Satan tells you." 
If you want to know more about this girl and the lies she overcame, go over there and read the rest.  Comment and start following this great blog. It has been such an encouragement for me since I have found it. 

This may seem a little repetitive because I talked about this a couple weeks ago.  But it has come up again this week and I have new worries.  These aren't just passing thoughts.  These are things that have been consuming my thoughts, things that I keep coming back to over and over again.  What I'm stuck on is mystery.  Not a mystery.  Not like I don't know what I'm stuck on.  I mean mystery as a genre.  When I was a young child, my maternal grandmother and I would watch Murder, She Wrote.  I totally blame Grandma A and Jessica Fletcher for my attachment to the genre.  I remember early in high school reading a short collection of famous unsolved mysteries in America.  From that book, I have become convinced that Lizzie Borden was innocent and I became attached to books like it.  Since then I have read multiple books of unsolved cases.  Some just tell the story, some put a bias into it.  I have read one memorable one that had a bias toward aliens and others have a bias toward ghosts and some are more focused on historical aspects. Whatever it is, I love them all.  I don't believe them all, but I love reading them and positing my own ideas about the mystery.  I love seeing the bias with which they are written and how the facts are presented differently.  I love learning about a new theory or thought on an event.  Sometimes they even change my mind like the Lizzie Borden example above.  The one I am currently reading has convinced me that Billy the Kid did not die in a shoot out with Pat Garrett.  I am now wondering if John Wilkes Booth actually died in that barn as well.  These things fascinate me.  I love the story aspect of them and how the telling somehow captures the era of the people involved.

The unusual and the mysterious have always captivated me.  For instance, my favorite radio station is Radio Classics on Sirius and the only thing I liked about Great Expectations from my freshman year was Ms. Havisham.  My favorite from Radio Classics are old shows like The Whistler, Suspense, Inner Sanctum Mysteries, Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar and other mysterious shows.  I am fascinated by these and I don't feel bad about that.  So what am I worried about and what does all this have to do with creativity?  If these are the things that fascinate and intrigue me, then shouldn't I let that fascination and intrigue spill over into my creativity?  The obvious answer seems to be yes.  If I am fascinated and intrigued and create from that place, then what I create will be better because that is what is in my heart.  My concern is this: how do I do what is in my heart and do it with God?  How do I do what I am interested in AND include God?  I don't know how to write a mystery with God.  Most mysteries involve some kind of crime.  If there is a crime, then there is a criminal.  I don't know how to write a criminal because I genuinely believe God can turn anyone around and make them better.  So I don't know how to write the criminal and the detective type character which are polar opposites and leave room for God to work in them.  And wouldn't it be weird to read a mystery that talks about God?  So I don't think I should include him as like a character or anything, but motivation and thoughts from a character maybe.  That brings me back to the beginning.  I don't know how to write a character that commits a crime and has God on his mind or a detective that investigates the crime and has God on his mind.  Don't even get me started with a supernatural/ suspense type thing.

I guess the obvious answer is to just write and don't worry about all this.  Just start and see what happens.  The worst that would happen is that I write crap and throw it away.  I've told myself this and somehow it still isn't working.  In my heart I want to write something mysterious or suspenseful, but in my head I have nothing.  Not ONE single idea!  Well actually I have one idea, but God isn't even a consideration for the characters and I'm not sure I could write it in good conscious.  So that is my one idea that I don't think I could write and I don't have any other ideas.  Maybe I should give up on that genre and go towards something more romantic that I have written before.  But my heart screams, "NO!  Don't give up!"  I'm at a stalemate, so I'm left worrying about if I should be creative or just give it all up.

Partnering with Casey today.

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