Friday, December 2, 2011

I suck at this!

I had a pretty massive realization this week.  I suck at self-discipline.  I have known for a while that if I don't do it right away it may not get done for weeks.  I regularly put off washing clothes until I have 3 loads.  I put off washing the dishes until I have to creatively pack them in the dishwasher.  I wait until the kitchen counter has at least 7 spots before I wash it.  (I don't actually count the spots, but you get the idea.)  We have piles of paperwork laying around.  I don't vacuum until I just can't stand the dog hair.  I'm not saying we are rolling in filth, but it isn't spotless.

I think I'm hungry and go scavenge for food.  Instead of taking stock and realizing the I'm actually thirsty.  I know I need to email someone and I don't do it for a week or more.  I know I need to call a parent and I don't do it for several days.  I had translation to do this week and I wanted to put off the last couple pages.  I'm reading 5 pages of the Bible a day and some days it's actually 15 pages a day.  We are a few dollars ahead this month, so I think I'll buy this shirt or that book or whatever.  It's almost 10 and I'm just now writing this post.

Do you see what I mean?  I have no self-discipline.  I have been making small strides this week.  I have drunk significantly more water than normal.  And I have actually thought about saving money.  Tiny strides, but heading the right direction.  I have really got to work on this.  I suppose admitting I have a problem is the first step.  Julie has really inspired me several times to keep working.  Thanks!

Ask me about this again in a couple weeks.  Keep me honest here.  I can't keep going on this way.

What about you?  Are you disciplined?

(Maybe I should have called this the post where I ramble and make my mother mad.  Too little too late I suppose.)


  1. It's a conscious decision every second of the day. Find someone down there other than your husband who will hold you accountable. I know Drew would, but encouraging discipline sometimes needs strong words, and you don't want to bring that into your marriage :)

    It's all about baby steps, friend. There are still days when I really want to stop and get a donut, but then I remember my waistline and realize how not worth it it would be. The trick, too, to this is give yourself a day to rest. Rest from the discipline. Rest from the work. Rest from the diet if you're on one. Rest from work. Can you tell one of my posts next week will be about rest? ;)

    You've got this one. You don't suck. You're awesome. Don't ever forget that.

  2. Wise words! I'm already thinking of someone. Thanks!

  3. I dont have much self discipline. I do most of the things you said. When i know i need to get some clothes washed i plan to do them then i put it off and think about something else i need to do and i end up just repeating the cyclee and it never gets done.Its a bad habit.

  4. Baby steps toward self- discipline.

  5. ...i understand your dilema all too well...i could tell you that its OK..and that you will eventually 'straightened-up'but that would be counter productive..what we need is a change deep INSIDE first..a spiritual transformation of sorts..otherwise we're just kicking against the pricks so to speak...start meditating seriously..John Main has a exellent book from a christian some research into an ancient practice of the early church Fathers called Hesychasm..also Asceticism...these practices can help make a significant lifestyle change(FOR SPIRITUAL REASONS) possible....