Wednesday, October 12, 2011

On being a piano

Ben and I were playing the piano at the lock-in on Friday night.  Yes we took our 2 year old to the lock in.  He had a great time walking around Oktoberfest and then bowling.  Well he didn't bowl, he just moved the bowling balls around the carousel.  He fell asleep on the way home from cosmic bowling.  Between Oktoberfest and bowling we went back to the church.  The kids played with the karaoke machine.  Ben got bored, so we played with the drums and the piano in the sanctuary.  Of course he could only reach a few keys on the piano, so I played the other end of the piano.  Ben was playing the left end, harder sounding end of the piano.  Is there a word for that?  Anyway, I was playing the right end of the piano, the lighter sounding end of the piano.

While playing I thought, "I wish I was like this end of the piano."  I feel like I come off sounding and acting very harsh, very abrupt.  The people who are the other end of the piano are more friendly, more polite.  They come off sounding happier, more at peace with the world.  I feel happy and at peace with the world.  I try to be polite.  However, I'm really bad at small talk and that seems to be an essential part of being polite.  I try to be friendly to people, but once again the small talk thing seems to get in the way.  Often I feel like I just don't measure up to those bright and happy people.  As a woman, wife, mother, teacher, blogger, etc., I feel as if I should be one of those bright and happy people.  Somehow I am less than because I not on the lighter end of the piano.

Then as I began to think about writing this post, I tried to figure out how to describe the ends of the piano.  The word deeper came to mind when describing the end that I am.  And I thought I like that word.  I like being deep.  My principal told me last week that I am thinking all the time.  I like that description.  I like thinking about things and looking beyond the surface to the reasons behind it.  Sometimes it is the way a sports team is playing.  Sometimes it is why a person reacts the way they do.  Sometimes it is the motivations of a character on a movie or TV show.  My husband loves this about me, most of the time.  ;)  Then in the youth lesson on Sunday night, my husband said (paraphrasing) God made you the way you are and that is the way it should be. I guess I needed to hear that.  Now, I'm just working on believing it.

What side of the piano would you rather be on?  Why?

Side note: I learned it is the bass and treble ends, not left and right.  :)


  1. I always wished I was the soft, quite side of the piano that was intorverted and only spoke on occasion when something really important needed to be said. I am learning to embrace the loud stuccato sound that I actually am :)

  2. I like you that way and I bet other people do too. :)

    Maybe that's what I should be saying to myself. After all Ben consistently picks the bass end to play. So he likes that deeper maybe harsher sound. If it's good enough for my son and my Father, then I guess it should be good enough for me.