Friday, May 20, 2011

Praying

My following here at this little blog is growing and that is a great thing. I have been reading a LOT of wonderful blogs pretty regularly as well. That would seem to be the right formula for a growing blog. However, I think it has intimidated me a little. I feel like I should be saying wonderful things and have amazing insights. I don't. I'm out.

Testing season began last week and I have been a bit drained from the act of giving several 4 hour tests, keeping students from going crazy, worrying about my students passing, having a mild concern for my job, and raising money to get to Honduras this summer. I would like to say that I have been praying and believing my God is big enough. What I have actually done is redesigned my twitter and caught up on my DVR. So maybe my out feeling has less to do with what is going on in my life and more to do with what is not going on, praying!

Why have I not been praying? Not sure. Top 3 possible reasons

1. My prayer list is kinda long and I don't get around to me. Lame excuse! These are really different things. Talking to God about my life is not the same thing as asking him to bless others.
2. I'm afraid of what my answers might be. Closer. I don't really know what answers I might be afraid of, but I am.
3. I'm trying to deal with it myself. This seems to be the one. I can do it. I don't need God for anything. I've got it handled. I don't need his answers.

Of course that is a ridiculous idea. I can't control anything. I didn't create the Universe. I don't understand the past, present, and future. That's what God does. So I should probably let him do it. It might be time for me to go do that.

No comments:

Post a Comment