This week has been a very long one! We moved into a now house, had the area revival 4 nights, and then went to a minor league baseball game tonight. Through all of that, we have had a few interesting experiences related to meeting new people. This is always an exciting moment. You have been invited to hang out with some new people. You are all excited because they like you enough to see you more than the required time in that meeting or conference or wherever you met. This is the opportunity to share your story with someone new and to hear their story as well.
As adults, the obviously optimum place for this friend test is a restaurant. So the initial part of this test is simply discussing and deciding where this will happen. Some times you have a vote on this and some times you don't. If you do, then you worry about being pushy with your suggestions or not having an opinion and looking too timid. The place of this test does get decided and you leave for this restaurant. Of course you drive separately and when you arrive the tension builds. If you arrive before this new friend possibility, you have worry about not being in the right place or about where to stand so they will see you or whether or not to put your name in. If you arrive after, then you have to track that person down and worry that you made them wait too long.
Well anyway, we get to the restaurant and sit down to eat. We start with a pleasant conversation reviewing important points in our life history. We are expecting one more and the one more enters. Only it isn't one more, it's like 5 more. And I think, "Oh great." All those hopes I had of having meaningful conversations are gone. Your new friend test has been ruined by the entrance of 'the posse'. You know that group of people that follow around the cool person you were hoping to know. Your life history points now pale in comparison to the inside jokes. Your inquiries into their life are now one upped by questions concerning real problems about which the posse knows. Your dreams of riding horses with your new friend are crushed by the posse who has already done this.
I have to admit, I walked away a little upset to have missed this opportunity. However, later in the week, I learned a little something, well 2 little somethings. 1. It's easy to fall into this by accident. You see 1 person here and another there and all the sudden your posse is formed. (Sorry Amanda and Seth.) 2. When you do find yourself up against the posse, stop thinking that way! You might make several new friends instead of just 1. I was being judgmental. I was limiting myself and not opening myself to the possibilities that were out there. So next time, I'm going to be more positive and hopefully walk away with a few new friends.